#1 ( the spit cup ) If you dip tobacco (which is BAD BAD BAD) you already have the perfect weapon. Your spit cup. When you get ready to go to wherever it is that you will be playing at bring a clear spit cup. That way they can watch the spit s-l-o-w-l-y slide down the side of it. As an added plus the smell can literally make people sick. I once had a guy get up from a game and toss his lunch in the bathroom with this tactic. (works great on women too!!)
#2 (sing) Yes sing. Sing your heart out. Pick something odd like "frosty the snowman" or the theme to "mary poppins" or you favorite song on the radio at the time. If you have a stereo on sing with the song. It works best if you sing just above a wisper. You know, like you do in the car. That way he (and I promise you he will) is curious about what song you are singing, and will think about it from, time to time. Which is the whole goal of this, to take his mind off the game.
#3 (talk to him) Oh man this one works wonders. Talk to him about things that you think he will be interested in. I will use this one right off the bat. When he says wanna play? I start gabbin. Talk about sports, the weather, what the guy over there is wearing. Everyone knows how to make small talk. Just make sure that you have his attention. I think you get the idea on this one. If you don't I am deeply sorry for you.
#4 (vanity) Use this one if you have someone that is not the best looking guy on the block in front of you. (also it helps if you are the best looking guy on the block) Bring a comb or something of the sort and brush your hair. Play with your hair. Twiddle your hair in your fingers. If this guy has any hostile feelings about preps, you've got him. Do the little things like, act like your not paying attention to the game and be looking at your fingernails. The rest is up to your imagination. A good friend of mine uses this one every time religously.
#5 (your drink) Most places will allow you to bring a drink in or they might even have them there. The possibilities are endless if you have a prop such as a drink. You can slurp it, play with it, move it around the table, constantly wipe the "sweat" off it, spill a little on yourself (always a fun one) (never spill it on him, his cards, or your cards!!). Ever met that guy who you wanted to rip out his throat because of the way he drank? Be that guy.
#6 (fidget) This oen is more of a add on rather than a strategy in itself. Move around, get up and stretch, pop your knuckles, put your legs under you in chair, then go back to sitting in the normal position, switch your chair around backwards, then move it to it's correct position, if you have the guts (I never did) pick your nose and wipe it on something like your jeans or a napkin. If you are in a town where nobody knows you my favorite is to develope a nervous twitch.
#7 (the EVIL EYE) Dude just look at him. Never break eye contact, and never say a word to him. There is no need to say anything to anybody during a match. About halfway through the second match they will crumble. Especially if they don't know you. If they don't know you they are screwed.
#8 (rules hound) Before you use this I highly suggest that you know the rule book inside and out. Everytime he does soemthing wrong tell him in the most obnoxious way possible, like a "know it all". If he does something out of phase jump his case. Do not be afraid. Most people will do the same thing but you are doing it to be annoying. Big difference.
#9 (the dress) Either come to a tourny dressed like you are going out on the town or the total opposite. If you look good wear colgne, a neckless, a belt, nice shoes, socks, the works. If you want to go the other direction wear the worst clothes you can find, for one it will lure the nice dressed guy in a false sense of security. He'll think he is up against some stupid redneck and that this will be an easy win.( I am ripping this off from a guy that took me to school. Saw him the next day at a convience store dressed very sharply. ) This guy wore a shirt that I thought he had been working out in the yard all day in, and oh man he smelled like it too. He also went on to take second in the tourny that day.
#10 (gold) I call this one gold because of the fact that it works so well that it is golden. Every time he plays a card pick it up and look at it. Even if he already has one on the board. It also helps if you comment on it. Every spell, every enchantment, every creature, and the best part of all every land.
